nialllhoran:

when-in-doubt-go-to-the-library:

nialllhoran:

nothing annoys me more than people being like “LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE” when you find something offensive or disgusting like where am i learning to take this joke? to the fucking trash where it belongs?

This one is for Blake that fucking dickwad

yeah fuck you blake

destielkills:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

destielkills:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

starsquadd:

It honestly breaks my heart to think that somewhere in the world right now, Jennifer Lawrence (in addition to multiple other women) may very well be crying her eyes out because her privacy has been greatly compromised in one of the most awful ways possible. This is so fucking disgusting and whoever did this is a fucking low-life pig.

brbslaying:

dangmaaay:

pink-vulva:

i want to be so financially secure that i don’t even think to glance at the price tag of anything. 

dream

 

(Source: pinkvelourtracksuit)

bennycreampuff:

They wouldn’t say “Father of two meets world leaders today”
They’d say “President Obama meets world leaders today”.
They wouldn’t say “Father of three founds one of the most successful modern computer businesses.”
They’d say “Bill Gates founds one of the most successful modern computer businesses.”
Get your shit right and use women’s names, not the number of kids they have.

bennycreampuff:

They wouldn’t say “Father of two meets world leaders today”

They’d say “President Obama meets world leaders today”.

They wouldn’t say “Father of three founds one of the most successful modern computer businesses.”

They’d say “Bill Gates founds one of the most successful modern computer businesses.”

Get your shit right and use women’s names, not the number of kids they have.

(Source: brooklynmutt)

bombing:

one of my favorite things is when you give a baby your finger and they hold on to it as tight as they can. it’s funny because they don’t even come close to having the amount of muscle power i do. do you really think you can hold me here haha. i’ll crush you

dilfgod:

straight friend: aw I don’t understand why you’re still single

me: because approximately 8% of the us population identifies under the lgbtq community where 1.1% identifies as lesbian female, 3.5% as bisexual female, 1.7% as gay male, 1.1% as bisexual male, .3% as trans, and .3% as something else, then there’s finding someone who I’m compatible with emotionally, physically, and romantically from less than 8% of the population, and may or may not live near me